A great dog waits patiently and asks appropriately for what she wants. A demanding and impatient dog is likely to whine, bark, and jump to get what she wants. A dog in this state is similar to a child who is distraught over the injustice of not getting what she wants when she wants it —which is usually right now!
As a dog-friendly trainer, you recognize that while it is normal for a dog to want to access reinforces (anything she wants) as directly and promptly as possible, a dog who behaves in this way is not likely to enjoy as many freedoms or be adored by all as she might be if she just learned a little self-control. Your dog needs to learn that the only way to get what she wants is to wait for you to give her permission. You are the source of all the things she wants, and the only way to get you (or anyone else) to give her those things is to remain calm and do as requested.
Developing your dog’s self-control will facilitate a better relationship between you and potentially a longer and safer life for your dog, too. A dog with great self- control is much less likely to run through a doorway or out of a car door and onto the street where she may get hurt. She is also less likely to grab food from some- one’s hand and potentially cause injury by not being careful and thoughtful enough to take the food gently when given permission.
People who feel bad when they don’t give a dog what she wants inadvertently encourage the dog’s lack of self-control. This is a perfect example of killing with kindness — that is, trying to do right by a dog but ultimately teaching her very bad manners that will affect all aspects of her life.